How to Prevent (Some) Tantrums

My little helper spinning the lettuce.

One of the hardest parts of disciplining for me is picking my battles. I learned quickly to prevent some tantrums by using the following techniques.

No More Forbidden Fruit
The first is letting my toddler do usually forbidden things at appropriate times. For example, his aunt let him play with the lightswitches one day, and he wanted to continue playing with them all day. At first I said no, and of course he got upset. Then I made it a point to let him turn on and off the lights as needed. Because I let him do it at those times, he soon stopped asking to do it all the time. This technique has worked for a number of situations, usually those involving some sort of button or switch.

Little Helper
I used to get upset with my son taking the kitchenware out of the cabinets. Then I thought I'd put his knowledge of the kitchen to good use and had him help me put the clean dishes away. He loved it and still does. Now he always helps me unload the dishwasher and put away some dishes. He also helps me with the laundry.

Next to tackle was grocery shopping. I started by letting him put things in the cart and putting produce in the bags. But the last few months he has refused to sit in the cart, so now I also let him push the cart below me. Lately we've had lots of meltdowns at the store, though, because he wants to run around and grab everything, so I need to figure out my next step.

I also let Caden help me cook by helping him measure and stir things. If there is something he wants to do that is unsafe, I guide him to his play kitchen so he can pretend to do it.

Mine and Yours
Caden always wants to touch and use our things, so we get him his own. He has his own computer keyboard that I got at the thrift store for 50 cents, a fake cell phone that came with his play kitchen (also from the thrift store), and a fake TV remote. When he wants something of mine, I remind him he has own, be it books, toys, writing or eating utensils, food, etc. The fact that he has things that are specifically his usually satisfies him.

Choices
When I know Caden doesn't want to do something, I will give him choices of how to do it so that he feels he has some control and is more cooperative. For example, he usually refuses to go down for a nap and wants me to continue reading him books. I tell him he can either lie down by himself, have me lie down with him, or let me rock and sing him to sleep. Naturally, he chooses the latter options and falls alseep.

Quality Time
One of the most common causes of Caden's tantrums is lack of attention. We get so caught up in our own busy lives or relaxing days off that we often ignore Caden and expect him to entertain himself. I've been trying to be better about including him in my necessary activities, limiting unnecessary ones, and spending time with him with no distractions so that he knows and feels that I love and want to be with him.

What are some techniques you use to prevent tantrums?

Caden Can Count!

A couple weeks ago when Justin and I were playing a game, we heard Caden counting along with Elmo. We were so surprised! We read counting books to him everyday and he never counted along. Now he does. The only numbers he can't say are one and seven; for the others he mostly just says their vowel sounds. But he recognizes all of them and knows their proper order. He loves counting things and tries to do it on his fingers, which he hasn't quite mastered yet. It's so cute how he tries!

Potty Training Preliminaries

After we have settled into our new place, I want to start potty training Caden. I just read my friend Alex's helpful story about potty training her son and it gave me hope. I think Caden will be ready based on the following:

1. Last week he had a terrible rash, so I left him diaperless for a few hours each day. Naturally, he had a few accidents. I was surprised to see how much they upset him! Caden hates spills and messes (except toys) and helps clean them up, but his accidents bothered him even more. I think going diaperless, as Alex suggests, will be effective with him.

2. Caden also hates getting his diaper changed. To get him to be more cooperative, I took an idea from Elizabeth Pantley: the potty train, in which Caden gets a piggyback ride to the bedroom while I say "choo-choo." When I need to change his diaper, he stops running away or resisting once I ask him if he wants to get on my back. He loves it so much, he has started to tell me occasionally when he is dirty or even wet. That means he recognizes when he goes in his diaper.

3. After I clean him up, I dump the diaper contents in the toilet. That was originally for the smell, but now Caden is interested in flushing it down and washing his hands afterward, a great start for a boy!

I am a little nervous to begin, but I think as long as I am consistent and patient, we will succeed. If only I hadn't stopped the infant potty training!

Moving Woes

We are moving next week to an apartment closer to Justin's work. So far, the process, which began in March, has been very frustrating.

First there was trying to find a place we could afford and be allowed to bring our own washer and dryer. I refuse to sell ours because they were gifts from my in-laws when I graduated from college. And they're great. However, here in Arizona, nearly every apartment provides a washer and dryer, and if they don't, they have a laundromat (after 3 1/2 years of using one, I never will again!) or hookups for only certain styles (stackable, gas, etc.).

We finally found a place. I love the location and layout. Next problem was getting a lease. Apparently we're too poor, so it had to be cosigned. We had to work out all that while on vacation in Wisconsin.

The last hurdle was ASU. We saved the worst for last. The housing office staff are never on the same page and they are very unpredicatable. We weren't sure the exact date our lease ended: we didn't receive a copy, and in the renewal reminder email they sent us, they left our termination date blank. We didn't want to ask because Justin technically graduated in May, disqualifying us from living in student housing even though last year we signed through August with permission. But like I said, communication there is horrible, so what one person says may not be what the next person will say, and we didn't want to be kicked out right then and there. Happens all the time--no exaggeration.

Anyway, we finally got around to it on Monday. We found out our lease ended today (the 1st). We asked for a 9-day extension since we cannot move in to our new place until the 10th. No supervisors were there. We filled out forms. No reply. Tuesday Justin and I spent all day calling the office and checking Justin's email. Nothing. Still no supervisors available; the receptionist didn't even know where they were. We were freaking out, because if our extension was denied, we had to move out in one day, rent a storage trailor, and crash at Adam and Kirsten's place for 9 days. So not happening. Finally, this morning after I called again, Justin called me and said they informed him we could stay.

What a relief! I was so stressed and am still recovering. Just a warning to anyone who is considering attending ASU: don't! I can't say anything about the education since I was never a student here, but the administration is terrible. There is so much chaos and lack of knowledge, ridiculous rules that affect the innocent, fees for everything, and no accountability. All our interactions with ASU, not just housing, have always been nightmares. I just hope the management at our new place is better!

Teaching Children To Be

Great parenting advice from a General Authority of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

WINNER!

The winner of the Lime Green Lemon upcycled t-shirt bracelets is comment #101 by Linda Kish. Congrats! And thanks to everyone who entered!

I will be moving soon and taking a break, but don't go anywhere, because I have two great giveaways lined up for next month!

How to Reuse Plastic Cups

After so many summer picnics and parties, you may find yourself overstocked with plastic cups. Or perhaps you like to use things more than once before throwing them away. Whatever your reason, there are many ways you can reuse plastic cups.

1. Use a plastic cup to catch bugs. Throw the cup and bug away in your outside garbage can or the dumpster.
2. Small plastic cups work well for rinsing after brushing your teeth. You can throw them away as soon as they are unsanitary.
3. Save a lot of plastic cups for cheap homemade games, such as ball tossing,  bowling, and cup stacking.
4. Make a string phone as a cheap toy for your kids to play with.
5. Let your kids use plastic cups to play with in the bath tub. Then use them to rinse their hair and store their small bath toys.

Do you have any ideas on how to reuse plastic cups?