Baby Genius

Gabe has taken to elimination communication quite well. He doesn't fight sitting on his potty anymore. We've been doing it casually, but I still catch about 1 or 2 poops and 2 pees per day. Gabe can also sign potty (modified, of course; he signs the letter t but doesn't shake it), and I swear he's been doing it since two months old. I didn't believe it at first, since babies aren't supposed to sign until at least 6 months old, and most between 8 and 10 months. Even though Caden started at 4 months, I thought 2 months was impossible. But Gabe's been doing it consistently since then, so it wasn't a fluke.

He just started trying to sign milk and it's hilarious. When Caden first started signing as a baby, he signed milk and potty almost the same (a closed fist for milk and a closed, slightly shaken fist for potty) so it was hard to tell the difference sometimes. So in teaching Gabe, I exaggerated the difference, opening and closing my fist really wide for milk, resulting in Gabe waving his arm back and forth as he claws the air--and me. The next one we've been working on is sleep so that he knows when I put him down in the bassinet or crib it's nap time and I'm not abandoning him.

He seems to like it when I sign to him, because he responds with smiles and excited movements. I think he can tell I'm trying to communicate with him, and that makes him happy. I am very amazed with this baby, especially since Caden was a very smart one too and Gabe is one-upping his older brother at every stage so far: he's bigger, eats faster, cries less, sleeps better, and signed sooner than Caden. I think Gabe's determined not to be overshadowed by his older brother!

Potty Problems

Gabe's favorite thing to do is poop during a diaper change. It usually happens after a long period of time between diaper changes, like in the middle of the night or first thing in the morning. And he has lots of blowouts in his disposable diapers, but I won't put him in cloth diapers at night until he nurses less often.

Today I thought I would try catching his morning poo in the infant potty. I have tried before when he was younger, holding him over it horizontally or holding back his legs over the big potty before bath time (he liked to pee on me), but he did not like it.

Well, this morning I caught it just in time: as soon as I put him on, he exploded. He didn't want to stay there any longer than necessary though. When he was done, Caden peaked into the potty to see Gabe's poo, said, "Bananas!" and then fanned the air by his nose. Very funny!

 
I've tried putting Gabe back on every time I've changed his diaper today, but he won't have any of it, so we'll just stick with mornings until he's more comfortable with the potty. As for Caden, he's back into Pull-Ups at night because he refuses to go potty by himself when he wakes up although he is perfectly capable of doing so. The first morning his diaper was full, but the last two days he's been dry. Caden also fights going potty during the day. He holds it until the last possible minute, resulting in some near accidents, and gets upset when I make him go. I don't know why he doesn't want to go anymore. I hope it's just a phase that passes quickly!

Potty Training Days 7, 8, 9, & 10

He loves the stars on his underwear!

Ever since Wednesday, Caden has made a few steps backward. We are back to him fighting me to go on the potty and me having to ask him frequently if he needs to go. The only positive is he loves his underwear! I put him in just underwear at church today and he did fine. No accidents since Friday (knock on wood). I think this is the last of the potty training updates until we tackle night time.

Caden has progressed in other areas too. His birthday party weekend he started jumping. We rented a baby signing DVD at the library and now we both have learned more signs, the most useful one being help. He knows colors and shapes too and he's interested in learning letters.

Potty Training Days 5 & 6

In big boy underwear that's too big.

Tuesday went the same as Monday. Justin came home from work much earlier than expected and wanted to take us out for dinner, so I decided we'd try. Caden did great! Not only did we not have to take him out of the restaurant for misbehaving, but he also didn't have any accidents there or in the car and went potty at the restaurant.

This morning Caden had a #2 accident on the floor. Not sure how that happened. Luckily it was an easy clean-up. He had two more throughout the day. Not fun. I think it was because it was such a busy day and Daddy was home, distracting him.

We finally got him big boy underwear. He loved the one with cars on it and didn't want to put on pants when it was time to run some errands.

I hope tomorrow he goes back to pooping on the potty!

Potty Training Day 4

The dawn is breaking! Although Caden slept in a diaper and wet it, he went on the potty when I changed him Monday morning. Throughout the rest of the day, he sat on his little potty all on his own and peed, clapping when he was done. No potty dancing or whining; I only knew when he went because he clapped. He even took the little potty to the big potty to dump it! He didn't have an accident when he woke up from his nap either.

When he had to go #2, he didn't fight me. He asked for help getting on the big potty and then got off, repeating this until it was ready to come out, and he stayed on the potty until he was done instead of struggling with me. I am so proud of my Little Misters!

Potty Training Days 2 & 3

Playing with the squirt bottle while going potty.

I jinxed myself. Last night and the night before, Caden woke up at night because he wet himself. Besides those times, he only had 3 accidents on Saturday, two from us not getting to the potty on time because he fought me and once because he had just woken up from a nap. But he definitely knows when he has to go. He says "Mama," does the potty dance and runs near or to the potty, and whines. Saturday was a lot of struggling against me, especially before going #2, when I had to force him to stay so it would land in the potty.

Today he was more cooperative. I had to put him in a diaper for church, and I was worried it would undo the progress we've made, but it didn't. He didn't have any accidents today. He's still fighting me, though, when he has to go #2.

I decided to put him in a diaper tonight so that it wouldn't interrupt his (and my) sleep. We'll save night-time potty training for later.

Potty Training Day 1

Sitting on his own

Today I decided to start potty training for real. Two nights ago I put Caden to bed without a diaper on (only done once before when Caden had a bad rash) because he stays dry until he wakes up. The next morning, I put him back in a diaper, and he filled it up. Last night I left him diaperless again, but this morning I stuck him right on the potty. To my surprise, he didn't fight me even though he had just woken up. To my dismay, he did nothing after half an hour. I tried again after breakfast, when he usually has his morning BM. Nada.

The first time he went was in his room. I saw a stream, called out "Caden!", and put him on his portable potty chair. But when I had cried out his name, he stopped peeing and didn't finish in the potty. He went on his little armchair a couple times too.

Caden kept asking for a diaper or shorts. I finally gave into shorts, which he went in while I was reading to him before naptime. Luckily his shorts are thick and absorbed it before it got to me.

After his short nap, he was very cranky. I put him in his plastic lawn chair so he wouldn't wet his nice armchair anymore and gave him a snack. For the next half hour he peed over and over. Every time he realized he was peeing on himself, he would stop and get really upset. I would sit him on his potty chair, but he wouldn't do anything more until after he sat back down in his plastic chair. This cycle continued, with Caden in tears even though I wasn't mad or frustrated and didn't even make him clean up the mess. I was worried he wasn't ready for potty training after all. But as time went on, he started to finish going pee in the potty and clap for himself and soon sat on it without me asking, even when he didn't end up doing anything. Then I knew it was just his usual crankiness after naptime and that we could continue.

He still had more accidents even with carrying the potty everywhere he went and watching him constantly, but he made progress. Until Daddy came home. Now he's refusing to sit on the potty. We'll see how it goes tomorrow!

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And I just caught his first #2! He'd been doing the potty dance for the last half hour and even going to the big potty but refusing to sit on it. This last time I sat him down, he started to jump off, I saw poo coming and kept him there. I survived cleaning up pee all day, but now I am getting frustrated. If things get worse, I'll introduce potty treats, but I'd rather not.

Potty Training Preliminaries

After we have settled into our new place, I want to start potty training Caden. I just read my friend Alex's helpful story about potty training her son and it gave me hope. I think Caden will be ready based on the following:

1. Last week he had a terrible rash, so I left him diaperless for a few hours each day. Naturally, he had a few accidents. I was surprised to see how much they upset him! Caden hates spills and messes (except toys) and helps clean them up, but his accidents bothered him even more. I think going diaperless, as Alex suggests, will be effective with him.

2. Caden also hates getting his diaper changed. To get him to be more cooperative, I took an idea from Elizabeth Pantley: the potty train, in which Caden gets a piggyback ride to the bedroom while I say "choo-choo." When I need to change his diaper, he stops running away or resisting once I ask him if he wants to get on my back. He loves it so much, he has started to tell me occasionally when he is dirty or even wet. That means he recognizes when he goes in his diaper.

3. After I clean him up, I dump the diaper contents in the toilet. That was originally for the smell, but now Caden is interested in flushing it down and washing his hands afterward, a great start for a boy!

I am a little nervous to begin, but I think as long as I am consistent and patient, we will succeed. If only I hadn't stopped the infant potty training!

Potty Party

Out of nowhere, Caden is suddenly interested in potty training. He went from refusing to sit on the potty to wanting to sit there all morning while I sing Primary activity songs to him (his favorite is "Roll Your Hands"). Once he even told me he had to go by pointing to the potty during a diaper change. He's only gone a couple times in the potty, but I'm just happy he's willing to sit there!

How to Afford a Baby: Diapering

One of the biggest and longest baby expenses is diapers, especially for those with two or more kids in diapers at once. Consider these other diapering options to help you save money.

• Cloth diapers: They require a lot of money up front, but not if you start as soon as you find out you're expecting and buy a couple cloth diapers every month. The cheapest way to go is prefolds and covers. For convenience, use all-in-ones (AIOs) or pocket diapers that grow with your baby. The only extra expense is special detergent which is pricier than regular detergent, but since you use so little per wash, it lasts a long time. For more information, read my post on cloth diapers.
• Cloth wipes: Cloth diapers may not be your thing, but cloth wipes or homemade wipes can be. I use cheap baby washcloths and a fleece shirt I cut up into squares (fleece is soft and doesn't stain easily). Just spray them with water and wipe after wet diapers or non-mushy dirty diapers. We have saved so much money on disposable wipes by only using them for big messes.
• Elimination communication: Also known as infant potty training, EC teaches your baby to recognize the urge to go, communicate that with you, and wait until on the potty to go. This worked for my son from 4 to 10 months old (read our journey with infant potty training). Obviously, the advantage here is that you use significantly less diapers and wipes.
• Disposable diapers: If you want to stick with disposable, ask for diapers size 2 and up for your baby shower. Most people receive newborn and size 1, and babies outgrow them quickly, so ask friends for any leftover diapers they have.

Elimination Communication Update

9 months

When Bugaboo was four months old, I started infant potty training (or elimination communication) and blogged about my experience. Bugaboo is now fourteen months old and a lot has happened since we first started.

Bugaboo caught on very quickly. It was tiring at first, taking him so often, but it was sort of fun too. We sang songs and did finger plays together. I learned how smart and willing my baby was. He was able to sign potty (not perfectly, but discernable from milk) before five months old, which made it so much easier. He did it most often when he needed to poo. With both our efforts, I caught half of his pees and nearly all his poos. I could even take him to a public potty when we were out, which also encouraged me to use cloth diapers away from home since I knew there would be no poopy messes. Sometimes I even took his little potty with me when we were gone all day or going to a friend's house. It took a lot of commitment, but it was worth it. I was so proud of both of us!

Then nine months hit. He was crawling and getting into mischief and decided to go on a potty strike. No more signing. No more sitting on the potty. It was very frustrating. Especially when he figured out he could crawl off the potty chair, spilling its contents onto the carpet. Yuck!


13 months



I got lazy after that. I still took him in the mornings, after naps, and before baths, but my efforts stopped there. A month later I tried again, and Bugaboo signed for about a week. Then he learned to walk, becoming more distracted, and stopped signing for good. Since then I've had to watch him like in the beginning to catch it in time. I was hoping he would be diaper free by one and fully potty trained by 18 months.



Overall my efforts have not been wasted. He still knows what going potty means. If he passes gas when I'm around, he looks at me and smiles. I'll ask him if he needs to go potty and he'll run to the bedroom. Unfortunately, it's just gas most of the time, the real thing happening shortly thereafter. Sometimes he signs all done when he's barely started eating and I know it's because he needs to go. Other times I just randomly ask him and watch for a response.

What I've learned is that diligence is the key. You have to be consistent and 100-percent dedicated. My laziness and his distractedness once he was mobile were a bad combination. I haven't given up yet. I'm working really hard again so that he can tell his teachers when he has to go once he enters our church's nursery at 18 months. Wish me luck!

Note: The morning after I originally wrote this post, Bugaboo signed potty and milk! He hasn't done it since, but it's a start!

Elimination Communication



Bugaboo (4 mos.) on his potty chair

 What is elimination communication?
Elimination communication (EC), also known as infant potty training or the diaper-free method, is teaching infants to recognize when and where to go potty. Although the focus is on potty training, the real goal is to bond with your baby through communication, trust, and respect.

Can infants really be potty trained?
Yes. Babies already know when they have to "go": you can tell when a newborn is going by his or her facial expressions, body language, and sounds. We untrain infants by putting them in diapers and letting them get used to being dirty. Then when they become toddlers, we have to teach them how to recognize their urges, hold it, and relieve themselves once on the toilet.

Is infant potty training easier than toddler potty training?
Not necessarily. You may find traditional methods easier than EC. It takes time, effort, and patience--the last being vital. In fact, it is recommended that if you cannot be patient then stick to traditional potty training. EC is all about being positive; there are no punishments for accidents or not going.

How long does elimination communication take?
The length of time depends on how you define "potty trained." Obviously, an infant will not be potty trained in the same way that a toddler would simply because their capabilities are different. Babies will always need help and may not verbally communicate their need to go. Even so, most infants who start EC end by 18 months to 2 years.

If it takes so long, then why should I try elimination communication?

• EC is not any more inconvenient than having to change diapers all day.
• You change less diapers.
• You save money on diapers.
• Your child is potty trained sooner.
• It eliminates the battle you may face with potty training a toddler.
• Most important, you bond and learn to communicate with your baby.

Where should I start?

1. For a few days, record when your baby eats, sleeps, and eliminates. Look for a pattern.
2. Watch for signs your baby makes when he or she is pooping and peeing. Common signs include obvious noises (passing gas, grunting), concentration, tensing, kicking legs, fussiness, crying, look of relief, gestures, and smiling.
3. Start by putting your baby over the potty--or wherever else you choose: sink, tub, toilet, bowl--at the most obvious times, such as when he or she wakes up in the morning and after feedings. Your baby may or may not go.
4. Make an association with EC through a cue, such as a noise (sssssssss) or gesture (ASL for potty is shaking your fist with the thumb between the first two fingers).
5. Next, try to recognize your baby's signs and get your baby on the potty as soon as you catch a sign. Depending on age, your baby may try to tell you by the cue you chose.

What else do I need to know about infant potty training?

• Newborns should be held in a comfortable position until they are old enough to sit up on their own on a potty chair, though you may choose to hold them for as long as desired, especially if it's working for your baby. For more information on positions, read Infant Potty Training by Laurie Boucke. I got all my information and motivation from this book (and I only browsed through the first few chapters).
• It may take time for your baby to get used to the potty or being held in certain positions. Distract them with songs or the bathroom mirror. If your baby does not go after a few minutes or gets fussy, stop. You do not want him or her to associate potty time with negative feelings.
• The best time to start is before your baby is six months old. However, it is never too late to start! The aforementioned book addresses how to adapt EC for late starters.
• View every caught poo or pee as a success and appreciate every milestone your baby makes. If you focus on the end result too much, you may become discouraged.
• Although EC takes a lot of effort, it is easier than you think! You can even do it part-time. I just started on Saturday and have already experienced success.
• Other family members and caregivers can be involved. Just make sure you are all on the same page.
• EC is harmless, fun, and doable. Others may laugh at you, but you'll be the one laughing in the end when your child is potty trained at 2 and theirs hasn't even started!

Read an update on our journey with infant potty training!