A Win for Weaning: Gabe's Journey

First time nursing Gabe

Weaning Gabe started nearly a year ago. I wanted to cut out night feedings first to help him sleep longer and in his crib. It went disastrously. We made some progress, but it all went down the drain when more teeth came in. I decided to try again when Justin's family came to town in April since we would all be sleeping together in the boys' room. It took several more sleepless weeks to get him sleeping in his crib. He would only wake up once or twice, and I would nurse him and then put him back in his crib. Eventually he was sleeping through the night.

However, he was still nursing during the day. I whittled it down to three times: once in the morning, once before or after nap, and once before bed. The nap time session was cut out first and then the morning one, so he was only nursing before bed.

The first weekend in July I went to my cousin's wedding. Gabe went one night without me and milk. I nursed him for the last time the day I came back from the wedding, July 4. How fitting that it was Independence Day.

A couple days later, my family came to visit. While they were here, Gabe was easily distracted and tired, just like when Caden was weaning. Once they left, he remembered again. I told him, "No more milkies. All gone." He was very upset. After about a week, he stopped fussing about it. Whenever he saw my naked chest, he would sign "milk" and then go "Ah! Ah!" and I would turn him down, but he wouldn't cry.

Soon he stopped asking for it and drank regular milk instead when he was in the mood. Last week, he looked at my chest, signed "milk," shook his head no, pointed to the fridge, and asked for a cup and straw to drink some milk. I knew then that we were truly done and he was okay with it.

The Truth about Lactivists

In honor of Breastfeeding Awareness Month I want to clear up common misconceptions about lactivists (lactation activists). I do not speak for all lactivists, and I am sorry if you have been treated rudely by any breastfeeding advocates.

Myth: Lactivists judge formula feeding moms.
Truth: Lactivists judge formula companies. We understand that formula is a needed and life-saving food for many babies, and because we care about babies getting the best, we demand more responsibility and accountability from formula companies. False claims, incorrect breastfeeding advice, recalls, and unsafe preparation guidelines are avoidable problems moms should not have to face.

Furthermore, we want to help women make informed choices. While we support the legitimate needs many have to use formula, we do not think moms should base formula feeding on perpetuated falsehoods such as formula and breastmilk are not different, breastfeeding is disgusting or sexual, or breastfeeding ruins breasts (which, even if it did, I unapologetically think is a very shallow reason not to do it). We are here to give the knowledge and support some women need to make the choice to breastfeed.

We are also human, so things we say or do may be insensitive and we apologize for any hurt feelings or judgment passed.

Myth: Lactivists believe that only 2 percent of women cannot breastfeed.
Truth: True, but that doesn't mean we believe breastfeeding is easy and natural for the remaining 98 percent. It may only be possible after an overwhelming amount of time, effort, money, help, pain, frustration, supplements, pumping, etc., which not all women are understandably willing or capable of doing. Or it may not be possible due to problems the baby has. So yes, only 2 percent truly cannot produce any milk at all, but many more women experience setbacks that make it just as impossible. Even those who have mostly easy breastfeeding journeys experience at least one problem, like clogged ducts or over supply.

Myth: Lactivists believe all women should nurse in public, uncovered no less!
Truth: Lactivists believe all women should have the right to nurse in public, including uncovered, if they choose to. Nursing rooms are most welcome too since not all women (or babies) desire to nurse in public places or in extreme weather. The point is to make breastfeeding normal and not such a big deal, no matter where or how it's done. We actually don't want all the attention! (Though I'm sure there are extremists out there who enjoy making a scene.)

Myth: Lactivists think babies should be nursed until 4 years old.
Truth: Lactivists support nursing however long both mother and baby are comfortable with. We do not believe in setting an artificial age limit. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends "continued breastfeeding beyond the first birthday as long as mutually desired by mother and child." According to the World Health Organization, most toddlers naturally wean between 2 and 4 years old. Since that is an average, of course there are littles ones who wean sooner and later. The AAP confirmed breastfed toddlers are "certainly still benefiting from the nutritional and immunologic benefits" and "emotional support is a perfectly legitimate aspect of breastfeeding."

Are there any other myths I overlooked? Do you consider yourself a lactivist?

FREE Nursing Pillow & Review

In the past I've done two reviews and giveaways for Udder Covers nursing covers and sets. They have a new sister company making nursing pillows. I asked if I could review one and they readily agreed. I was very excited! I told them to surprise me with the style, and they generously gave me a minky nursing pillow in spring green, along with Milk Bands and cloth nursing pads. It was a very nice surprise indeed! I couldn't wait to use the pillow. Once I did, I fell in love!

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*Cute styles.
*Super soft, comfortable, stable, and supportive. I was afraid the minky one would be too warm for AZ, but I actually like it so Baby never gets a cold awakening.
*Great for multiple nursing positions, including pumping and nursing at the same time!
*Perfect size (see photo below for nursing pillow comparisons)

Frowns
*None so far!

With Caden, I had won a Balboa Baby nursing pillow, the top-rated pillow by lactation experts according to one magazine. But I hated it! This nursing pillow is so much better. You can get your own FOR FREE by using the coupon code BABYGA. You just need to pay shipping, which is under $13, a great deal considering how pricey nursing pillows are!

How to Get Your Man to Support Breastfeeding

A fan on the Facebook page Breast is Best asked what other guys would say to a guy who doesn't want his girlfriend to breastfeed for no good reason. Based on the hundreds of replies, here is what to tell your man if he too is not supportive:

1. Guys understand numbers. Show your man how much formula costs. Then ask him if he would rather spend all that money on unnecessary formula or on [insert his favorite hobby] every weekend. If he chooses formula, warn him it will come out of his fun money!
2. Show him the facts. It is scientifically proven that breast milk is best for babies (except in a few rare cases). Breastfed babies are less likely to get sick (more money saved on doctor visits and medicine!), die of SIDS, and have future preventable health issues, such as obesity.
3. Appeal to his shallow side. You are more likely to lose the baby weight faster, your chest will be larger, and with lower chances of breast cancer, both you and your breasts will be around much longer!
4. As a bonus, tell him he won't have to prepare bottles at night and help feed the baby when he needs to get up early for work the next morning. He may get more diaper duty, but breastfed babies don't smell nearly as bad or spit up as much as formula-fed ones!

When I asked Justin for his opinion, it was so cute how he reacted, calling the guy "an ignorant fool" and saying he was setting his kid up to be not as smart and healthy. The funny thing is Justin didn't even really care if I breastfed or not when we had Caden. He went along with it for the first reason: it's free. But now he is a total supporter. So if your guy isn't comfortable with breastfeeding, he will probably come around once he sees all the benefits and the beautiful bond between you and your baby.

Breastfeeding Funnies

Why did the baby cross the road?
To nurse on the other side!

What is a breastfed baby's favorite candy bar?
Milky Way!

You should still work out though ;)

So true! I think I pumped 7 oz. only a couple times.

Don't even get me started on this one...

You Know You're a Breastfeeding Mom When . . .

The great Facebook page Breast is Best asked this question and these are my favorite responses:

• You grope yourself several times a day to see if one breast feels fuller.
• Someone mentions milk, and the first thing that comes to mind is yours.
• Getting intimate with your hubby something feels wet, but it's just your breasts leaking all over the place!
• You press your breasts to prevent leakage from the let down.
• You have several built-in, guaranteed moments of sitting down to relax and enjoy your squishy! Nobody gets to say, "I'll feed the baby, keep doing whatever horrible task you're doing/talking to whatever grating human being you're interacting with." Nope, you have a real, great excuse to close yourself off from the world whenever you want!
• You can eat more food than a pregnant woman and your husband put together!
• Your baby squeals with excitement when you take your shirt off. [All I had to say to Caden was, "Do you want some (dramatic pause) milk?" and he would laugh hysterically in anticipation! So funny!]
• Your baby gets more excited than your husband at the sight of your breasts.
• You have to have "the talk" with everyone who comes over to your house: "If you're gonna hang out for more than a couple hours, you're gonna see my breasts." 

p.s. I didn't have an acrobatic breastfeeding baby (in reference to the photo). Did you? 

The Very Hungry and Not-So-Hungry Caterpillars

felt garland by Handmade at No. 9

Caden is a little eating machine. All he wants to do is eat, eat, eat. But he never eats enough, which is why he is always hungry. He's a grazer and a snacker. I, on the other hand, have lost my appetite ever since I stopped nursing Caden. A nursing mother, not a pregnant one, eats for two! I was always hungry and could eat a lot, but now I'm hungry less often and I eat less. I'm still getting used to it.

Weaned

It has been exactly four weeks since Caden last nursed. I thought it would never end! As much as I loved breastfeeding him, I was ready for it to end. When your milk dries up and your kid has teeth, nursing doesn't feel good anymore. I'm glad we made it as long as we did, though--nearly two years.

The weaning journey wasn't easy. The hardest was going from three times a day to 2. During our two-week vacation back east, Caden was so busy and distracted that he only nursed once, if that. So when we got home, I tried to keep him distracted and busy. Then I told him no when he asked for it and gave him cow's milk instead. The first two weeks he kept asking for it and would get frustrated when I gave him regular milk instead. Then over the next two weeks he forgot about it.

But last night while he was sitting in my lap facing me, he grabbed my shirt and looked down. He kept staring at my chest intently, and then it clicked, and he signed milk. "You want to drink some milk?" I asked him, pointing to the fridge.

"No," he answered, pointing to my chest.

"There's no more milk there," I replied. "All gone."

And that was it. No tantrum or frustration or asking again. I knew then he was truly weaned.

Udder Covers Nursing Cover Gift Set Giveaway [CLOSED]

I discovered Udder Covers through email deals from Planning Family and bought a nursing cover gift set in the Maria pattern, as shown in the photo. I loved it so much that I hosted a giveaway for a nursing cover. Now Udder Covers has agreed to do another giveaway, this time for a gift set, which includes a nursing cover, a matching Milk Bands bracelet, and 2 pairs of cotton nursing pads.

Milk Bands are flippable bracelets that allow you to track which side your baby last nursed from and what time or how long your baby nursed.

Smiles

*The nursing covers are made from beautiful fabric patterns and lightweight, breatheable material. They are wide enough for complete coverage and not too long.

*They are machine washable and retain their shape after washes.

*They are small enough to fit in your purse, where I kept mine.

*The Milk Band was very handy during the first few months of breastfeeding, especially at night when I was half asleep. All I had to do was feel the grooves to tell if it was on the left (inscribed letters) or right (raised letters) side.
*It comes with extra sliders.
*The cloth nursing pads are soft and eco-friendly.

Frowns

*The nursing covers shrink a little in the dryer. Or maybe it just looks smaller compared to a growing baby? Probably both.
*The Milk Band sliders break easily. I went through all of them really quickly.

Udder Covers will be giving away one nursing cover gift set in the pattern of your choice! If you would like to buy one, use the coupon code "Family2012" for a $32 discount.

Mandatory 1st Entry: Visit the Udder Covers Web site and tell me which pattern you would choose if you won.

3 entries: Enter another giveaway.

2 entries: Like Udder Covers on Facebook.

1 entry: Follow this blog on Google Friend Connect.

1 entry: Like The Hand That Rocks the Cradle on Facebook.

1 entry: Post this giveaway on Facebook.

Please leave a separate comment for each entry. All entries must be submitted by 11:59 p.m. MST on Wednesday, March 7. The winner will be announced Thursday, March 8. Please leave your email in one of your comments so I can contact you if you win. This giveaway is open to the U.S., Canada, and Australia. Good luck!

How to Afford a Baby: Food

Babies eat frequently. Their tummies are very small and process food quickly. In the beginning months it may feel like you do nothing all day but feed your baby! But your wallet will be fed too by following these money-saving tips:

• Breastfeed your baby. It costs zero dollars. Breastmilk is always at the right temperature--no need for a bottle warmer. It's always available--no need to buy formula late at night because you ran out. It goes wherever you go--no need to buy bottles and insulated travel packs. It requires no cleanup--no need to buy bottle brushes and drying racks. (Some expenses if you choose are nursing covers, nursing pads, nursing bras, a nursing pillow, a breastpump, and bottles.)
• Once your baby is old enough to eat solid foods, read my other article on cheap and easy baby food.
• Make your own baby food. You don't need a fancy machine! There are plenty of resources online to help you out.
• If you do buy things like bottles and baby food, look for coupons. For accessories like nursing pillows and breastpumps, you can find good deals online.
• If you can sew, make a nursing cover for yourself. You can also just use a lightweight blanket.

Breastfeeding in America

Breastfeeding is an interesting subject in America. It appears the majority of people, even those with children, think breastfeeding is not a public activity and should not continue past the first year of life, if even that long. I would like to address these two hypocritical beliefs.

Myth 1. Breastfeeding should always be private.

I am a Mormon, so I do believe in modesty and using nursing covers at least when men are around. Even so, I also think babies have the right to eat whenever and wherever they need to whether or not their mothers cover up. When people think breastfeeding is offensive, I can't help but think they are being offensive by sexualizing or making obscene something natural and precious. Our culture is obsessed with breasts and is perfectly content allowing women to flaunt them any other time, yet finds it inappropriate when a baby eats what nature intended for the baby to eat. I am appalled to hear of public places kicking out women for nursing their hungry babies, especially when covered, yet leave half-naked women in peace or display magazines with women barely concealing their breasts. Those women's intents are sexual.

FYI, many states, such as Arizona, protect a woman's right to breastfeed in public, covered or not. Although I usually try to find a private place to nurse, such as a dressing room, I have nursed (covered) in a restaurant and on a bench in an outdoor mall. I wish all places were as baby-friendly as the Swedish home store IKEA, which has a nursing room, among other amenities.

Myth 2. Breastfeeding should cease after one year, if not sooner.

Concerning weaning, "the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends continued breastfeeding beyond the first birthday as long as mutually desired by mother and child" and states that "the simplest, most 'natural' time to wean is when your child initiates the process." They also go into detail about the benefits of long-term breastfeeding, such as boosting the child's immunity and intelligence. Yet American mothers wean much earlier, in contrast to the worldwide average of 2 to 4 years old.

There are also other reasons to nurse: bonding time and comfort. The idea of encouraging a baby or toddler to nurse for comfort bothers some people. We have no problem letting toddlers become attached to pacifiers, blankies, and other such objects, so why do we oppose a toddler going to his or her mother for comfort? The AAP says,

Your toddler may turn to nursing for comfort and reassurance, but he is certainly still benefiting from the nutritional and immunologic benefits. In any case, emotional support is a perfectly legitimate aspect of breastfeeding.

Seeking out a reassuring nursing session when he’s upset and bouncing back as soon as he finishes builds your child’s confidence and feelings of security and well-being. Certainly there is no evidence that extended breastfeeding makes a child more dependent or harms him in any way.

On the contrary, many parents proudly tell how independent, healthy, and exceptionally bright their long-term breastfed children become. As long as you are comfortable breastfeeding your toddler, there is no reason to stop.

Whether or not you are comfortable with breastfeeding is irrelevant. My hope is that you respect other mothers' choices to breastfeed in public and breastfeed for as long as they and their babies want.

Top 5 Nursing Essentials

1. Nursing pads: Avoid leaking in public or ruining a bra or shirt by wearing nursing pads. You can go cloth or disposable. If you choose disposable, I highly recommend Lansinoh. Their pads are large and very absorbent while remaining thin. They hold in place with two adhesive strips, whereas others only have one or none and thus don't stay very well. They are also reasonably priced. The best deal is to get them at Motherhood Maternity in the 36-count boxes.

2. Nursing cover: I think blankets are too risky to use for breastfeeding in public. Nursing covers are better because they work like an apron, having a strap around the neck and covering you and Baby. They come in cute patterns and some even have pockets. Go here for a coupon code for a nursing cover from Udder Covers.

Udder Covers

3. Nursing pillow: Nursing pillows are great if you want support while breastfeeding. They help hold up Baby to your breast, giving your arms a break and Baby something to lie on. Nursing pillows come in all shapes and sizes. Ask friends who have nursing pillows if you can sample theirs before buying one. Some popular ones are My Brest Friend and the Boppy.

Balboa Baby

4. Lanolin: Protect your nipples from--or treat them for--soreness, dryness, bleeding, and cracking by putting Lanolin on them. Lanolin is similar to petroleum jelly and is safe for Baby to ingest. Again, I recommend Lansinoh.

5. Night-time nursing bra: Many women nurse in a regular bra during the day, but night is a different story. You need something supportive but comfortable. A regular bra is uncomfortable and no bra makes sore nipples worse. Motherhood Maternity sleeping nursing bras are the perfect combination of support and comfort. They are soft and lightweight and make night-time nursing simple--just pull the bra back, nurse, and cover up again. I wear mine all day when I'm at home.

Happy breastfeeding!

Udder Covers Nursing Cover Giveaway [CLOSED]

It took me almost two months to feel comfortable breastfeeding in public. Once I did, I didn't want to just use a blanket to cover up because I was afraid of it accidentally falling. So I use an Udder Cover instead, a fashionable nursing cover that stays in place from a strap around the neck held by a d-ring.

Smiles

*It is made from beautiful fabric patterns and lightweight, breatheable material.

*It is machine washable and retains its shape after washes.

*It is easy to pack and take with you in your purse or diaper bag.

*It is wide enough for complete coverage and not too long.

Frowns

*This is just a personal pet peeve: I hate d-rings because I can never get them to stay! But I solved the problem by just tying the strap to the d-ring. It makes it faster to put on too: just stick it over your head and you're done instead of having to do and undo the d-ring each time.

Udder Covers will be giving away one nursing cover in the pattern of your choice. If you would like to buy one, use the coupon code "Family2010" for a $32 discount, which is the price of one cover. This means all you have to pay is shipping! Furthermore, this promotion gives you the discount off your total order no matter what you put in your cart, so you can buy something else instead if you want.

Mandatory 1st Entry: Visit the Udder Covers Web site and tell me which pattern you would choose if you won.

5 entries: Blog about this giveaway, linking to this post and to Udder Covers. Leave the link to your blog post.

2 entries: Like The Hand That Rocks the Cradle on Facebook.

2 entries: Put my button (top right) on your blog and leave the link to your blog.

1 entry: Become a follower of this blog via Google Friend Connect (see sidebar).

1 entry: Share this giveaway on Facebook.

Please leave a separate comment for each entry. All entries must be posted by 11:59 p.m. MST on Thursday, December 9. The winner will be announced Friday, December 10. Please leave your email address in one of your entries so I can contact you if you win. Good luck!

Breastfeeding Tips

Breastfeeding is back in style! But it isn't always easy. The first month was a nightmare for me; now I really enjoy nursing my baby. The key is to stick to it; there is a light at the end of the tunnel! Here are five tips to help you out:

• Find a comfortable place to nurse: a rocker, the couch, the bed, a recliner, etc.
• Have a snack and water ready whenever you breastfeed. Baby's feeding time often bumps into mine, not giving me a chance to eat. A small snack is enough to hold me over and help milk production until I can get a full meal. Hydration is always important, but especially when breastfeeding.
• Some experts say to feed on one side at a time, others to feed from both. I say follow your baby's cue: your baby knows his or her needs better than anyone else. If the baby seems content, stop breastfeeding. If not, offer the other side. Sometimes babies may take a break to burp, make a dirty diaper, or change positions, so try to nurse again after they are done.
• Do something while breastfeeding to pass the time if your baby is a long nurser or you get bored: read a book, watch TV, listen to calming music or inspirational messages, talk or sing to your baby, take a nap (nurse in the side-lying position, a lifesaver at night). Once I found things to do (especially sleep!), I became less impatient and let baby nurse as long as he wanted.
• If you think you are not producing enough milk, nurse anyway. It's all about supply and demand. Pump if necessary to increase supply. Make sure you are eating and drinking enough: breastfeeding uses a lot of calories.

Happy feeding!