Mommy Jokes

It's been a while since I've posted some jokes! Here are my favorites from Will and Guy's Funny Clean Jokes.

While assembling furniture, Liz asked her friend's six-year-old son, Ricky, to bring her a screwdriver.
"Do you want a 'Daddy' screwdriver or a 'Mommy' screwdriver?"  Ricky politely inquired.
Confused by the question, Liz responded with, "Bring me a 'Mommy' screwdriver."
Ricky returned and handed her a butter knife.
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Jimmy Johnson forgot his lines in a Sunday school play. Luckily his is mother was in the front row especially to prompt him.
She gestured and formed the words silently with her lips, but it did not help. Jimmy's memory was completely blank. Finally, she leaned forward and whispered the cue, "I am the light of the world."
Jimmy beamed and with great feeling and a loud clear voice announced, "My mother is the light of the world."
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4 years old - My mommy can do anything.
8 years old - My mom knows a lot.
12 years old - My mother doesn't really know quite everything.
14 years old - Naturally, mother doesn't know that, either.
16 years old - Mother? She's hopelessly old-fashioned.
18 years old - That old woman? She's way out of date.
25 years old - Well, she might know a little bit about it.
35 years old - Before we decide, let's get Mom's opinion.
45 years old - Wonder what Mom would have thought about it.
65 years old - Wish I could talk it over with Mom.