Things Not To Say During Childbirth
-- I hope you're ready. The Glamour Shot photographer will be here in fifteen minutes.
-- If you think this hurts, I should tell you about the time I twisted my ankle playing basketball.
-- That was the kids on the phone. Did you have anything planned for dinner?
-- Remember what we learned in Lamaze class! HEE HEE HOO HOO. You're not using the right words.
-- Your stomach still looks like there's another one in there.
~A guy phones the local hospital and yells, "You’ve gotta send help! My wife’s in labor!" The nurse says, "Calm down. Is this her first child?" He replies,"‘No! This is her husband!"
~Somewhere in the world a woman gives birth to a child every minute. We have to find this woman and stop her.